Fun Freetime - The Wizard of Oz (CTC - MN)

 Children’s Theatre Company (CTC) is thrilled to announce the complete cast and creative team for the upcoming production of The Wizard of Oz, based on the classic motion picture. Directed by CTC Artistic Director Rick Dildine†, with music direction and orchestrations by Victor Zupanc and choreography by Christopher Windom, The Wizard of Oz will run from April 21-June 14, 2026, on the UnitedHealth Group Stage. Opening night is Friday, April 24, 2026, at 7pm.

 

“This spring, we’re thrilled to bring the one and only The Wizard of Oz to the stage,” said director Rick Dildine. “This beloved production resonates across generations, touching on themes of self-discovery, courage, and the power of friendship. Dorothy’s journey to find her way home is a timeless story of growth and resilience. Few stories have had such an enduring impact, and I’ve been dreaming of this production for a decade. We’re especially excited to have [CTC Acting Company member] Autumn Ness star as the shoe-obsessed Wicked Witch of the West!”

 

It’s not every day that a wild tornado whizzes right over your head, taking the house and the whole farm with it! Or that the entire world magically shifts from black and white to technicolor right before your very eyes. But there’s nothing everyday about a shoe-obsessed witch, flying monkeys, or a yellow brick road, either. Join Dorothy, her three oh-so-curious friends, and Toto (played by a real dog!) in this grand spectacle, featuring songs you know and love from the classic film!

 

CTC’s production of The Wizard of Oz is recommended for all ages. Tickets may be purchased at childrenstheatre.org/oz or by calling the Ticket Office at 612.874.0400. Ticket prices start at $25.

 

The adult cast of The Wizard of Oz features Becca Claire Hart* as Aunt Em/Glinda the Witch of the North, Riley McNutt as Uncle Henry/Gatekeeper/Ensemble, Reed Sigmund* as Zeke/Cowardly Lion, Regina Marie Williams* as Hickory/Tin Man, Dean Holt* as Hunk/Scarecrow, Autumn Ness* as Almira Gultch/Wicked Witch of the West, JoeNathan Thomas* as Professor Marvel/The Wizard of Oz/Ensemble, Janely Rodriguez* as Ensemble (Understudy: Aunt Em, Glinda, Almira Gultch, Wicked Witch), Bella West as Ensemble (Understudy: Dorothy), Keegan Robinson as Ensemble (Understudy: Hunk/Scarecrow), Bradley Johnson as Ensemble (Understudy: Hickory/Tin Man), and Brendan Nelson Finn as Ensemble (Understudy: Zeke/Cowardly Lion).

 

The student cast of The Wizard of Oz features Aniya Bostick and Harriet Spencer alternating as Dorothy. The student ensemble of The Wizard of Oz includes Aliya Bailey, Truman Bednar, Brody Breen, Zhandile Chidothe, Charles Foster, Morgan Houser, Wren Lillian Hatling, Addica Sharbono, George Wellens, and Julia Wissink.

 

The adult understudies are Monty Hays and Joshua Row.

 

The student understudies include Evie Blake, Logan Gordon, Luciana Erika Mayer, and Chloe Sorensen.

 

In addition to Rick Dildine†, Victor Zupanc, and Christopher Windom†, the creative team and production staff for CTC’s production of The Wizard of Oz includes Adam Koch^ (scenic designer), Lex Liang^ (costume designer), Jeanette Oi-Suk Yew^ (lighting designer), Reid Rejsa (sound designer), Kylee Loera^ (projection designer), William Berloni (animal trainer), Lara Hayhurst (lead dog handler), Landon Tate Boyle (dog handler), Alli St. John (student actor coach), Hannah Steblay (assistant director), Gabrielle Dominique (assistant choreographer), Ellie Simonett (assistant lighting designer), Daniel J Hanson* (stage manager), Z Makila* (assistant stage manager/stage manager), Nate Stanger* (assistant stage manager), and Ashley Pupo (stage management fellow).

 

*Member of Actors' Equity Association, the union of professional actors and stage managers.
 

†Member of SDC, the Stage Directors and Choreographers Society, a national theatrical labor union.  

‡Member of the Twin Cities Musician Union, Local 30-73, AFM.  

 

^Member of the United Scenic Artists, Local 829.  

 

Ticket Information
 

Tickets may be purchased at childrenstheatre.org/oz or by calling the Ticket Office at 612.874.0400. Ticket prices start at $25.

 

School groups interested in attending The Wizard of Oz can contact schools@childrenstheatre.org for more information.

 

The Wizard of Oz has a run time of 2 hours, with one 15-minute intermission.

 

This production is recommended for all ages. Lap passes are available for children 3 years and younger.

 

The Wizard of Oz
By L. Frank Baum

With Music and Lyrics by Harold Arlen and E. Y. Harburg

Background Music by Herbert Stothart

Dance and Vocal Arrangements by Peter Howard

Orchestration by Larry Wilcox

Adapted by John Kane for the Royal Shakespeare Company
Music Direction and Orchestrations by Victor Zupanc
Choreography by Christopher Windom†

Directed by Rick Dildine†

 

Based upon the Classic Motion Picture owned by

Turner Entertainment Co. and distributed in all media by Warner Bros.
 

April 21-June 14, 2026
UnitedHealth Group Stage
Best for all ages

 

 

Children’s Theatre Company (CTC) is the nation’s largest and most acclaimed theatre for young people and serves a multigenerational audience. It creates theatre experiences that educate, challenge, and inspire more than 200,000 people annually. CTC is the only theatre focused on young audiences to win the Special Tony Award for Outstanding Regional Theatre and is the only theatre in Minnesota to receive three Tony nominations (for its production of A Year With Frog and Toad). CTC is committed to creating world-class productions at the highest level and to developing new works, more than 200 to date, dramatically changing the canon of work for young audiences.
 

CTC is the most significant provider of theatre education opportunities in the region. Every year, thousands of children experience theatre for the first time at CTC. Our student matinees and education programs demonstrably benefit the community, from the intergenerational conversations sparked by our world premieres, to the sequential skill-building that happens in our Theatre Arts Training, to the pre-K focus of our Early Childhood Initiative. ACT One is CTC’s comprehensive platform for access, diversity, and inclusion in our audiences, programs, staff, and board that strives to ensure the theatre is a home for all people, all families, reflective of our community. childrenstheatre.org 

 

Book Nook - Hettie and Friends in the Fens and Hettie in the Fens: Some Further Stories

 In Hettie and Friends in the Fens and its sequel, Hettie in the Fens: Some Further Stories, author Mick Price introduces readers to a quietly enchanting world where community, humour, and gentle adventure shape everyday life. Set in the Fens, the books follow Hettie and her circle of friends through a series of short, engaging tales that reflect family life, school, and growing up.

 

Rather than relying on high drama, the stories draw their strength from warmth and observation. The Fenland setting is more than a backdrop. It is an active presence throughout the series, grounding each adventure in a recognisable and much-loved landscape. Written in an accessible style suitable for early readers and adults alike, the books balance simplicity with wit, appealing to readers across generations.

 

 

Synopsis

Hettie and Friends in the Fens introduces readers to Hettie’s world through ten short, quirky stories that serve as snapshots of childhood. Everyday moments quietly turn into adventures, whether that involves a shopping trip with Mum or Dad, a seaside holiday, a gentle cruise along a Broads river, or an activities day at school.

 

Set firmly in the English Fens, the stories celebrate the small dramas and delights of growing up. Each vignette captures the curious, humorous, and occasionally baffling logic of modern childhood, where ordinary days often take an interesting turn.

 

The sequel, Hettie in the Fens: Some Further Stories, picks up where the first book leaves off. There are fewer stories this time, but they are longer, allowing each adventure more space to unfold, linger, and draw readers further into Hettie’s world. Hettie is a little older now, with a growing sense of self-awareness, yet the gentle humour remains. The pace and scope expand, showing once again that even the most ordinary days in the Fens rarely end as they begin.

 

“Having spent my life in education, I wanted to write stories that invite children into reading without pressure,” says Price. “The Hettie books grew from a love of storytelling, place, and the belief that gentle humour and warmth can make reading feel like a pleasure rather than a task.”

 

He continues, “Hettie and Friends in the Fens is written for parents and children aged seven to thirteen who enjoy reading together, particularly at bedtime. The short stories are designed to help children drift off feeling safe and comforted. In the second book, Hettie is older and more self-aware, giving the stories a slightly more mature perspective while retaining the same warmth and humour.”

 

The Hettie series has earned strong ratings on Amazon, with readers praising its humour, recognisable settings, and appeal to both children and parents. One reviewer of Hettie and Friends in the Fens writes, “What a fantastic book! If you live in the Fens around Wisbech, Spalding, King's Lynn you'll be familiar with the area and identify with the stories. My kids love the book. The quirkiness of the stories, references to modern technology, family relationships, school and growing up is rife and so relevant…”

 

 

 

Hettie and Friends in the Fens is available on Amazon:
https://amzn.eu/d/g0pgjUf

Hettie in the Fens: Some Further Stories is available on Amazon:
https://amzn.eu/d/21wpCAJ

 

 

About the Author

Mick Price is a retired teacher and college lecturer in Mathematics and IT, with a career spanning both public and private sectors, including Local Government and further education. He has taught subjects ranging from basic skills numeracy to degree-level mathematics. He has a long-standing interest in developing educational resources, particularly for GCSE re-take students and adult learners. His previous publications include GCSE Mathematics – A Guide for Re-takers and Adults, as well as other educational texts and articles.

 

Motivated by a desire to encourage young people to read for pleasure, Price turned to children’s fiction later in life, resulting in the Hettie series. Now retired and living in the Fens with his wife, he enjoys writing, real ale, bird spotting, and attempting to avoid politics. He holds a BA (Hons) in Mathematics, an Advanced Diploma in Teaching, a Master’s Degree in Education, and is a Fellow of the Institute for Learning.

 

Music Minute - LeAnn Rimes: Wild Things Run

Multi-platinum, GRAMMY® Award-winning artist LeAnn Rimes has released her powerful new single, “Wild Things Run,” inspired by her character Dixie Bennings ABC’s drama series, 9-1-1: Nashville, from Executive Producers Ryan Murphy, Rashad Raisani and Tim Minear and produced by 20th Television. The song, available now across all digital platforms, underscores a pivotal montage in the series and offers fans a deeper look into Dixie’s backstory, revealing the fearless spirit and vulnerability that shaped her. “Wild Things Run” is featured in this week’s return episode of 9-1-1: Nashville, airing Thursday, 2/26 at 9:00p.m. ET/PT on ABC, Stream on Hulu.

Written and produced by Rimes alongside her longtime friend, collaborator, and hitmaker Darrell Brown, “Wild Things Run” captures the raw essence of youth: reckless hope, conviction, and the fire that fuels becoming.

Rimes shares of the personal creative process, saying:

“When I read that scene in 9-1-1: Nashville, I could feel Dixie at twenty so clearly, who she was before the world shaped her. That edge, the wild belief, the innocence and fire all at once. The title Wild Things Run just came to me after sitting with the script. After talking with Rashad [Raisani] about what he wanted the song to emotionally convey in the montage, it just poured out. And when I went in to record young Dixie’s vocal after the scene was filmed, I softened my voice, took out most of the bottom end to make it sound a bit younger, which brought the whole scene to life for me.”

The single further blurs the line between Rimes’ artistry and her on-screen presence, marking a standout creative moment as music and storytelling collide.

“Wild Things Run” is available now on all streaming platforms. For more information on Rimes, please visit www.leannrimes.com.

About LeAnn Rimes: LeAnn Rimes is an internationally acclaimed, multi-platinum-selling artist whose genre-defying career has spanned nearly three decades. She has released 21 albums and 71 singles to radio worldwide, including her latest, All I Want for Christmas Is You, which is currently the #1 Holiday Single of the Year (Mediabase Holiday Chart) and featured on her newly released Greatest Hits: Christmas album.

Beyond her recording and performance career, Rimes continues to use her platform to advocate for mental health awareness, LGBTQ+ rights, anti-bullying, and chronic illness visibility. Her wellness podcast, Wholly Human, reached #2 on iTunes’ Health & Fitness chart and has been widely praised for its depth and vulnerability.

With a voice that has defined an era and a spirit that continues to evolve, LeAnn Rimes remains a singular force—bridging genres, generations, and global audiences with every new chapter.

Soul Sustenance - The Christ

 

Faith Podcast Network announces THE CHRIST, a groundbreaking four-part audio podcast masterpiece that brings the gospel narrative vividly to life, from the humble manger to the victorious resurrection. Through world-class voice talent, cinematic soundscapes, stirring music, and theological integrity, THE CHRIST invites listeners to experience the story of Jesus like never before.  THE CHRIST will release four episodes during Holy Week, beginning with Episode 1 on March 30, with one new episode released each day through April 2, making the full series available ahead of Good Friday, April 3. Listeners will be able to access THE CHRIST for free wherever they get their podcasts or TheChristPodcast.com. This audio dramatization is the first-ever full-scale audio dramatization of Jesus’ life told across four immersive podcast episodes. Spanning His birth, ministry, crucifixion, and resurrection, the series delivers the scope and emotional depth of a feature film entirely through sound. “Many have heard the story of Jesus preached, read it in Scripture, or seen it portrayed on screens large and small,” said Mark Ramsey, Co-director and Producer of THE CHRIST. “Through immersive sound, original production, and performances from stellar, award-winning actors, THE CHRIST brings listeners inside the moments that changed the world. This four-part audio epic invites audiences to hear the Gospel with fresh ears and experience the hope, love, sacrifice, and redemption at the heart of the story.”

With more than 100 distinct characters and advanced sound design, THE CHRIST showcases cinematic-quality production that rivals major motion pictures, compressing an epic, two-hour storytelling experience into four powerful episodes. Every scene is rooted in biblical truth and crafted with care to awaken the imagination, stir the heart, and guide listeners through a profound spiritual journey. “We are incredibly excited to launch THE CHRIST, a project that reflects our heart and legacy”, said Faith Media Manager, Karisa Rogers. “For more than seven decades, we have shared the story of Jesus in ways that reach people where they are, and we believe this immersive audio experience has the power to impact lives, deepen faith, and introduce new audiences to the hope found in Christ. “ For more information, visit THECHRISTPODCAST.COM. About THE CHRIST Podcast From the courts of Rome to the hills of Galilee, from prophecy to resurrection, THE CHRIST chronicles the life, death, and triumph of Jesus of Nazareth — the man who turned suffering into salvation and forever changed the meaning of love, power, and grace. About Faith Media Faith Media is a part of the Northwestern Media Network, which has provided Faith-based content since 1949. Faith Media reaches audiences across the nation and globally through radio, podcasts, video content, and digital resources. Faith Media's Faith Podcast Network offers exclusive programs, inspiring stories, and meaningful conversations that take listeners deeper in their relationship with Jesus. Learn more at myfaithpodcasts.com.

Smart Safety - Danger Index of Neighborhoods

 New research by personal injury and criminal defense firm Omega Law Group has identified the most dangerous states in America for neighborhood safety, with New Mexico claiming the top spot by a significant margin. The study ranked all 50 states using a danger index built from two core metrics: home crimes per 100,000 residents and park crimes per 100,000 residents.

New Mexico leads the rankings with a danger index score of 82.9, the highest score of any state in the country. Its home crime rate of 3,465.75 per 100,000 residents is nearly 65% higher than the next closest state, suggesting that residential crime is a particularly serious problem there. The state's park crime rate of 69.57 per 100,000 adds further weight to an already alarming picture.

Colorado and Delaware both score 68.7 on the danger index, placing them joint second in the rankings. Colorado records 2,098.94 home crimes per 100,000 residents and a high park crime rate of 85.24. Delaware, by contrast, posts a much higher home crime rate of 2,683.43 per 100,000 but a lower park crime figure of 68.9 per 100,000.

Utah comes in third with a danger index score of 68.5, driven largely by a park crime rate of 94.98 per 100,000. Its home crime rate stands at 1,737.34 per 100,000.

Oregon ranks fourth with a danger index of 67.2. The state records 1,601.81 home crimes per 100,000 residents and a park crime rate of 96.7, the highest park crime rate of any state in the top ten. 

Washington takes fifth place, scoring 63.1 on the danger index, with 2,126.05 home crimes per 100,000 residents and a park crime rate of 75.61.

Nevada follows in sixth with a danger index score of 61.6 and a home crime rate of 2,425.49 per 100,000, reflecting a pattern of high residential crime that keeps it firmly in the upper tier of the rankings.

Arizona ranks seventh with a danger index score of 57, with 1,681.19 home crimes and 78.44 park crimes per 100,000 residents.

South Dakota sits in eighth place with a score of 55.1, posting 1,924.45 home crimes per 100,000 and a park crime rate of 68.59.

Rounding out the top ten, Tennessee records a danger index score of 51.8, with one of the higher home crime rates in the dataset at 2,733.73 per 100,000 residents, paired with a park crime rate of just 40.87. And finally, North Dakota is tenth with a score of 50.8.

The ten most dangerous states for neighborhood safety

Rank	State	Home Crimes per 100k	Park Crimes per 100k	Danger Index
1	New Mexico (NM)	3,465.75	69.57	82.9
=2	Colorado (CO)	2,098.94	85.24	68.7
=2	Delaware (DE)	2,683.43	68.90	68.7
3	Utah (UT)	1,737.34	94.98	68.5
4	Oregon (OR)	1,601.81	96.70	67.2
5	Washington (WA)	2,126.05	75.61	63.1
6	Nevada (NV)	2,425.49	65.00	61.6
7	Arizona (AZ)	1,681.19	78.44	57.0
8	South Dakota (SD)	1,924.45	68.59	55.1
9	Tennessee (TN)	2,733.73	40.87	51.8
10	North Dakota (ND)	2,471.92	46.56	50.8

At the other end of the rankings, a cluster of northeastern states record the lowest Danger Index scores in the country. New Jersey ranks as the safest state of all, with a score of just 12.3, a home crime rate of 1,037.23 per 100,000 and a park crime rate of 25.56.

Maine ranks second safest with a danger index score of 12.4, a home crime rate of 1,245.23 per 100,000, and a park crime rate of 19.92.

West Virginia ranks third from the bottom with a danger index score of 14.0 and a park crime rate of 17.55 per 100,000, the lowest park crime figure recorded across all 50 states. Its home crime rate of 1,424.18 per 100,000 places it in the mid-range of the dataset.

Massachusetts ranks as the fourth safest state with a score of 15.6, recording 1,377.11 home crimes per 100,000 and a park crime rate of 21.42.

New Hampshire ranks fifth from the bottom with a score of 17.3, with 1,229.13 home crimes per 100,000 and a park crime rate of 28.20.

The five safest states for neighborhood safety

Rank	State	Home Crimes per 100k	Park Crimes per 100k	Danger Index
1	New Jersey (NJ)	1,037.23	25.56	12.3
2	Maine (ME)	1,245.23	19.92	12.4
3	West Virginia (WV)	1,424.18	17.55	14.0
4	Massachusetts (MA)	1,377.11	21.42	15.6
5	New Hampshire (NH)	1,229.13	28.20	17.3

A spokesperson from Omega Law Group commented on the findings:

"These numbers tell a story that goes beyond state borders. The gap between New Mexico's Danger Index of 82.9 and New Jersey's 12.3 is the kind of difference that shapes everyday decisions and how communities invest in public safety.

"For residents in high-ranking states, it's worth looking at what types of crime are driving the figures in your area. A state like Oregon has the highest park crime rate in this dataset at 96.7 per 100,000, which is a very different problem to solve than a state like Kansas, where home crimes account for the bulk of the danger picture at 2,865.15 per 100,000.

"Knowing the nature of the risk helps people make more targeted decisions about personal safety; whether that's securing property, being more alert in public spaces, or understanding what local law enforcement is prioritizing.

"States in the Northeast consistently have lower index scores, with New Jersey, Maine, Massachusetts, and New Hampshire all sitting at the bottom of the rankings. That regional pattern suggests there are systemic factors at play such as urban planning, policing strategies, and community investment, which all feed into these numbers over time. No single policy fixes this overnight, but the data gives a clear starting point for the conversations that need to happen."

Post courtesy omegalaw.com

Methodology

The Danger Index was calculated using two metrics for each state: home crimes per 100,000 residents and park crimes per 100,000 residents. Each metric was scored and combined to produce a composite Danger Index for all 50 U.S. states. States were then ranked from highest (most dangerous) to lowest (least dangerous) based on their Danger Index score.

Parenting Pointers - How To Strengthen The Parent-Child Relationship Through The Ups & Downs Of Adolescence

 As parents, we all face the unique challenges of raising preteens and teenagers. The pressures of parenting at this stage can be overwhelming, but it's important to remember that understanding your child better can help navigate these turbulent years. Here BACP counsellor Margaret Ward-Martin, founder of The Grace Project looks at how to strengthen the parent-child relationship through the ups and downs of adolescence.

We need to talk about...talking. You know how it goes, eye roll, side pose, a hand gesture accompanied by “whatever,” just another day in a parent’s life with a preteen/teenager. Let’s start by exploring the minefield that having a conversation may feel to many parents.

First, take the pressure off – these years are developmentally timed for children to push and pull and stomp and slam, test, and retest. And for parents to know how to deal with this. Not. We feel powerless and completely at a loss about this emerging personality that bears little or no resemblance to the cute three-year-old whose photo sits on the shelf reminding us of the time when it was more “Awww” and less “Argghhh!!!”.

 

Secondly, communication is key and encompasses so much more than talking which is one way to engage with your child. Let’s discuss children eleven and older who can follow guidelines about give and take in a conversation. That’s if you can. Maybe try these hacks – they’re by no means exhaustive or guaranteed to be effective but, if my own experience is anything to go by, worth a try.

Enhance communication - conversation hacks with children:

• Avoid saying “we need to talk.”   Sounds like a set up.

• Notice cues. Let the talking happen organically (except where it is unsafe to do so). Often your child/teenager will invite a discussion - “We were talking about vapes at school today.”  One response might be “Don’t you dare!”  Another might be “just need to take this call, we’ll speak later, promise.”  Whilst I appreciate that we can’t always be free to talk, not picking up this cue might result in your child simply not bothering to come to you. 

• Be active and curious. Taking the dog out for a walk, going to a match or gaming together are effective facilitators for teenage conversations. Stuff comes up – it just does. You don’t need to plan or steer the conversation, let it happen. Ask to know more. You’ll be surprised at what you learn.

• Listen. You don’t always need to talk. Simply listen and try not to interrupt. Teaching your child the art of conversation is so important. Even if you are screaming inside, please keep it in and let them say what they need to. If you are left confused, anxious, worried, surprised, you may want to say – “Thanks for the chat, I need time to think about what you’ve said.”  No judgement, no shock, no visible angst or attempt to fix or solve.  Try and let your child feel safe in that moment having said something difficult for you to hear. You can panic later.

• Regulate your own emotions. This may be difficult after a stressful day at work, a final warning bill, an incendiary message from your ex or if you were never taught how to have difficult conversations and you want to completely lose it. Nope, stop that. If you can stay calm in front of your boss, the school, the GP, and anyone else you have in your life, don’t let your children have the crumbs.  

• Have a script.  If you get anxious, acknowledge it, take a deep breath, strap in and understand that whilst it is an understandable reaction, hearing your child out is more important:

“Tell me more”

“Do you need me to listen or make suggestions?”

“What has made you think that?”

“Help me to understand”

“Is there anything else you need to tell me?”

“We can agree to disagree.”

“I need a break.”

• You don’t have all the answers. Parents never did. The best they could do was their best. That grown-ups had all the answers was always untrue and was the result of generations of parenting that perpetuated the myth placing inordinate pressure on the next generation. If we understood that we don’t have the answers, are learning on the job, and that there is no perfect parent we can let go of the associated anxiety and lessen control. By leaning into this, everyone has the potential to feel less stressed. 

• Apologise. I’m not sure it’s the times we are in but saying “sorry” seems to be unpopular. Doubling down is, in my opinion, immature, not a power move. When you do apologise, be specific – “I’m really sorry I was late, I can only imagine how worried you were. I’m sorry.”

Apologies have three parts - saying sorry, making amends where possible and not repeating the behaviour. If the behaviour continues, then apologies lose meaning. Weak apologies sound like – “I’m sorry, but…” or “I’m sorry you feel that way.”  This is not a meaningful apology. Take responsibility, own your part and do better.

• Consider how you were parented. How you were raised is likely to affect your own parenting style. If it was extreme in strictness or liberalism, try and find a balance. Extremes are not encouraged, with hard yes and no answers, best avoided. Talk out options and try to find compromise. If you had no safe sounding board as a child, learn to be one. The guideline for this is child safety first. This is clear with definite parameters and non-negotiable - children's safety is the paramount consideration. Children are curious and fearless. We need to avoid culling their inquisitiveness and instilling fear. We need to find balance.

• Be honest. Please avoid promising your children a holiday if this is not possible for you. Struggle is not as much of an issue as some parents think. How else do we raise adults if we are not honest about what is realistic for us? If the money is just not there, explain that, let the child feel the feels and manage your own sense (of guilt/disappointment/anger…?) and stay real. Give your children credit for understanding and cultivate resilience. Also, be honest about your concerns about their friends, lifestyle choices, or influences that you believe to be harmful. Rather than being judgemental and inflammatory, try “I understand that you want to go to this party and I cannot stand in your way, but I am concerned about some of the people who are going. Can we agree on ground rules?”.  If this is not met with enthusiasm, say nothing. Try to reassure your child that their safety is the most important thing to you and that you don’t care about being liked - their wellbeing is more important than your popularity.

• Hold boundaries and follow through on consequences. It’s ok to tell your child that whilst you love them, you do not like their behaviour, attitude, influences and pretty much everything at various points; stand your ground and push back. This is holding a boundary for them and serves as a reminder that they are loved. Your role is to keep them safe and if this means disagreeing with their choices, then say so. Disagreeing maintains your integrity, but you may have to work on your own limits. We do not own our children. They must make their own way in the world, be defiant and make mistakes and experience consequences and dust themselves down and pick themselves up. You don’t need to agree with their choices, but you do need to understand they have them. It’s not your decision to make.

• Lying. Children lie. Adults lie. Everyone lies. We cannot tell our children to be honest when we’ve fed them a diet of a ruddy cheeked man delivering presents down a chimney and tooth fairies, Come on, now. I’m talking about children holding back the truth for fear of judgement and punishment. They may not want to disappoint you or cause you worry, so stick to dealing with what they disclose and foster the conditions for difficult discussions without them having to fear escalation to DEFCON 2. That said, if the lying is problematic, possibly linked to early addiction or mental health, speak to their school, GP and other social services that can offer you support.

Margaret comments: ”With the abundance of anxiety and worry and responsibility that comes with parenthood there feels like a disproportionate and unfair deficit in patience. It may feel like a drought during the most challenging years as if someone decided that, when we need patience most, supply is cut off.  We are rarely told how much being a parent hurts. It does. It feels almost conspiratorial. Of course there is joy, celebration, and laughter, but we hurt for our children and we hurt for ourselves. Rejection, disappointment, struggle, betrayal, and loss add up to a whole lot of hurt. If we talked about it more openly, we would be better prepared and feel less defeated in our parenting”.

In those moments when you feel you are about to blow a gasket, breathe, think of the match on the weekend, the glass of wine (no judgement) at the end of the day, the holiday, or the box set. Go to a faraway place in your mind rather than say to your 15-year-old what you want to. It may land very, very badly and hurt everyone in the end. Patience – it can be learned. 

Other factors to consider:

Biology: So much parenting angst could be saved by understanding the biology of the teenage brain. For example, when we say, “Why can’t you understand?!” – it’s because, well, they can’t. The brain has not developed sufficiently and no amount of shouting and repetition on a parent’s part can change that. Children are biologically programmed to be wind-up machines for what feels like a million years but is, in reality, marginally less. This is not personal. It is a developmental imperative that helps them to prepare for adulthood. They need to test and prod and poke and scratch, hiss, and test again and push you to the limits to see if you will still love them after all. They need to know that they are lovable. This love will be their safe place from which they go out into the world, sure that there is a base to return to if life gets tough. 

Hormonal changes further complicate, confuse and amplify whatever your child is going through. The body may become a battle ground and both male and female hormones act in a way that destabilises and often frightens our children. Be kind in these moments and remember, it will pass.

Influences:  As your child separates from you and moves into teenage years, there are many demands for their attention. Peers may influence their behaviour, as will their online activity. They may experiment in relationships, with substances, appearance, and lifestyle. Heartbreak and rejection and first loves may impact their mood. Experiences they are not yet emotionally capable of processing. This is where a parent can hone their craft. Reading the cues and acting in such a way that supports without controlling, shares the pain without judgement, and validates will result in your child feeling supported as they slowly and self-consciously emerge from their chrysalis.

Context:  Children grow up in different environments; there are religious, cultural, and social structures. There are several variations on what a family unit might look like. If there is difficulty with another parent it is additionally stressful all you can do is avoid the rage bait, manipulation and being undermined and if your child reports an untruth from the other parent or household, firmly address it. “That is not what happened” and then move on. It is not considered safe parenting to weaponize and alienate children and is certainly not in the child’s best interests. Protect your time with them and make it as pleasant as possible.

Exception: You can be a sounding board. Never a punch bag. If there is ever any physical threat from your child, please get support and help. It is not ok. If this is your experience, you may need to speak to your child’s school, and they will be able to signpost you or engage support services. You have a right to feel safe in your own home and you may have to protect other children. 

Margaret states: “Look after yourself and remember to laugh. Take the responsibility of parenting seriously but accept that it is messy, unpredictable, exhausting, expensive and frustrating, with pockets of comic relief, if you are fortunate. You will get it “wrong” so much of the time – it’s not an exact science getting children to the independent stage, so settle for feeling out of control, learning to respond rather than react and appreciate the small wins. Above all, remember that the tough times pass and that your children will grow and fly and, if you’re lucky, come back for the holidays”. 

Healthy Habits - STD Non-Disclosure

 Testing.com’s just released data on STD non-disclosure. You can access the full report here:

https://www.testing.com/news/1-in-10-americans-admit-they-knowingly-gave-a-partner-an-std/

The report explores:

• How often Americans fail to disclose an STD before sex 
• Why people choose not to disclosure and the consequences of non-disclosure 
• Key differences by demographics, including age and gender

One finding that stands out: 1 in 10 Americans knowingly gave a partner an STD.

Other notable findings include:

• 45% of those diagnosed say they’ve had sex without disclosing their status
• Among non-disclosers, 59% say they also had unprotected sex
• 17% say a partner contracted an STD/STI from them after they didn’t disclose
• 9% admit they didn’t disclose to a spouse
• Young men are most likely to hide their positive status from partner

The insights are based on a survey of 7,895 U.S. adults. We can share the complete results and demographic breakdowns. Dr. Toni Brayer, a board-certified physician and member of Testing.com’s medical review board, is also available for comment.